Leia Drops the Bomb Editorials

Leia Down Drops the Bomb


Leia Drops the BombAs if an article written by a Super Villain wasn’t interesting enough, here’s a topic that will really blow your mind. I’ve chosen it because I believe that it is the perfect icebreaker to kick off my writing career. I want to discuss the age-old taboo of farting. Yes I said it, and don’t pretend like your not laughing right now. I know each and every one of you is either in the “still can’t fart in front of my partner” phase, or the fart has happened and now you both do it freely. Of course, all you single folk are lucky and can let one rip whenever you feel like it. I’ve been told a lady should never speak of such things, but hell, I’m a Super Villain, so I do and talk about whatever I want.

First off, there are a few instances of gas passing that I deem totally unacceptable. They are the classic “silent but deadly” fart in the elevator; I’ve been on the receiving end multiple times and they literally are almost deadly. You feel like somebody dropped a can of toxic waste right next you. The other one that I can’t stand is the “movie theater fart”. You can almost sense the person loading up and aiming his grotesque anus in your direction, and then you know you’re in trouble. There’s nowhere to go and you just have to sit in the stench of that guy’s partially digested, 5-hour old Mexican food.

I knew a guy that accidentally farted while having sex with his girlfriend. Luckily, she didn’t know if it was him or her pussy, so she didn’t say anything. I’d imagine that would be a mood killer for most, but he still managed to score.

Secondly, do Super Heroes and Villains fart?

I believe that they do but it has to be much more calculating and meticulous then your average citizen. Imagine Superman flying overhead and dropping a nuclear bomb below. His fart would probably blow a crater into the earth. God forbid he did it over the city, and everyone would think it was a biological weapons attack. Here’s a good one: The Hulk lets one go that wasn’t paying its rent, but does anyone ever wonder how much would one of his farts destroy? I’m guessing a few square blocks. Hulk is such a brute though; I’m almost 100 percent certain he would be pushing with such might that he may accidentally repaint the city.

Is it possibly for farts to smell good? It would be very interesting if there were certain foods you could eat to actually neutralize the normal disgusting stench of a fart. Could someone like Poison Ivy disguise her fart with the scent of her plant life and make it smell wonderful. Does it naturally come out of her smelling great? Aqua Man’s bubble farts must smell like fish when they break surface, right? These are the things I think about.

Bottom line is, farts are a normal bodily function and people shouldn’t make such a big deal about it. Yea, it is a little embarrassing to blast one off in a crowded room or even do it next to your significant other, but it’s part of the human body. This does not mean that I fart all the time, though.